Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
