She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
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I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
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THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
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