You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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