Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
