you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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