I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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