Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
