take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
