i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
