After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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