i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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