I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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