Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
