How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
