I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
