That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
