I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Someone signed my nipple.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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