Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
