never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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