Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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