we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Let's paint friendship bongs
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booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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