why didn't you poke me back
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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