Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
