It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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