Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
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Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
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I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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