You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
