There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
