Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
