the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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