if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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