haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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