12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
