i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
