I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
