oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize