I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize