1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
