so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
