She said her name was "party"
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
