I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
