I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just invented taco cereal.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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