That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
