So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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