Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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