Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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