We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
