how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
