Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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