it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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