addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
