Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
