hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize