Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
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we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
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Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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