normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
