hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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