This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
