and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
