are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
