I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
