I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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