there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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