if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
