I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
