Whatcha textin bout Willis?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
