i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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