You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
