Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
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you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
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Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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