:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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