Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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