you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
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his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
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Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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