would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
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my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
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