I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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