You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
