I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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